Just one of those unusually finger-talkin'-so-much-I-just-wanna-type-everything-I-get-to-think-of-day. Just feels immensely liberating having my thoughts out of my head and typed up. It's not really something like wanting people to read about it. It's more of loving the fact that that that that that. Oh well, got stuck up a bit on some idea there that I can't seem to get out the right way or the way I want it to. 

Today's my most loved nephew's birthday. It's friday the 13th, but it's a lucky and happy day, has for years been like that. Now that's just all good ain't it. Word of the day, well more like of this writing only, is "just." Just seemed to notice. I'm well aware that I have this tendency of reiterating words in a literature unconsciously. I believe just because (there's the 'just' again) it's making the best emphasis of whatever I'm thinking about as of the moment. I also think that it is somewhat related to another kind of not so useful habit that I have, which is counting ellipses or exclamation marks or any similar character in a series. Odd or even in amount, I don't really put any significance into such. Odd, true, totally, but nothing deeply disturbing about it, I believe. Smile to self.

Moving on back. Got a full half day off from school today, technically valid. Two quarters off for a very very good reason. Emphasis "very." Got called in to work, no pressure, fresh on the floor. Fresh as in 'me' new to the area (me talking to me just in case I forget what I meant by that, years from now). Got home back-riding on a friend's bike, rambled endlessly, howling in amusement. 

Good day. Praying for more. Actually, praying all of them would be. 

Wow.

The Land of the Long White Cloud. The Kiwi rising inflection.
All new. Been all good. Still can't get a full grasp of the fact that I'm not in the warm Philly. Then again, it's been all good. Biking, totally humbling. Work, making me see a new perspective to life and it's complexities as we eventually slow down in almost everything. New friends, fresh bonds, great people.

Couch-locked, clouds in sight, sun up and bright, in good company, looking back, looking in, looking beyond, I say "Wow."

Five months on. Moving with the cool, calm, breeze. It has been a smooth ride. I will try to ride it better.

Shingy Thingy

          Oh my. Oh no. I never thought i'd feel this much pain from this Shingy Thingy. What can I do, it's here. Thought it was just one of those days when my muscles seemed to shout at me through these pains, that i'm not using and moving them right. But then it (the PAIN) felt different, like it came from so much deeper inside me, and way beyond just my muscles. Then I thought otherwise. Thought of the shingy (it got into my mind 'coz I already had that sort of characteristic rash.urgh). Read about it. Talked to, showed (z rash) and got it confirmed by a friend who had it before too, and yes, it is the shingy. I was not too worried about it 'coz the pain didn't feel as severe as it was described in books and in the net. I was more worried about the scar the rash might leave. Got too confident that I'd be able to go through it in a breeze. I was soooooo overlyyyyyyyy wrong! The pain got worse! It was sort of like telling me, "Nu-uh gurl, this ain't nothin' yet!" (-YoMomma style). Told by that same friend to make lamoy a certain pain reliever, that she warned me about 'coz it tends to make u feel lightheaded, groggy, high, or having that feeling you get when drunk, and dizzy - note for safety precautions. It worked, but her warnings didn't stop me from going to work though, and yes, I liked that sort of high that it gave me ;-p
          Anyhow, I learned a lot from from this experience (even when it's not done yet). It reminded me that I'm just a mere human being, not immortal, and definitely not invulnerable. May feel that life is perfect at times, but then again, needs to face these tiny pricks that we get as we run through the seemingly flawlessly cut green fields. Someone who needs to get a real break from the hustling bustling life of the city. Worries aren't there forever, so don't kill yourself before it ends. Finally, don't get hooked on your pain relievers. They might kill your liver first before it totally kills your pain.

Truth, just like smoke, seeps through cracks and holes...

Oh isn't it just painful to know that things aren't what they seemed to you at first. Finding out that it has just all been one big fantasy. What's worse is that you didn't mean for it to be. One big heck of a brain-wrecked geezer made it all up for you. Foolish enough to believe it. Started to smell some of that smoke coming from the fire burnin' deep down that stinking labyrinth of lies. Still trying to believe otherwise. Gettin' a bit fed up, feelin' exaggeratedly stupefied. Finally summoned up all the courage that could ever be mustered and got to the gory-feeling bits of truth being pieced together. Little by little making cuts, and bleeds all over. It has all been a LIE. Still denied to be such, as of late. Again and again, the murderous truth lingers, ricochets, reminding that lies do come in all forms, shapes, and sounds...

Lookin' back, whatever's been said, done, typed, heared, all felt like nothing, now. Not knowing who or what really lingers behind all that. Why be such? At the very least, one thing is gotten out of it all, liberty. Liberty from an illusion. Able to act and feel in reality again. At least that's so much better than not knowing what to expect. Happier I think.

Love

Love, isn't really necessary to keep us physically alive. It's a mere abstraction that runs through the complex labyrinth of our brain convolutions. Yet it's a concept believed by many, said to be manifested by many, and received by many. There's no definite concrete proof of it, but then again it stands strong with it's emotional-feelings-say-it-all-supposed-proof that love really does exist. Still, I'd say that love does make us live longer. If we love, we feel happier, brighter, jollier, bubblier, lighter, fairer, and more optimistic about almost everything. Studies show that optimistic or positive thinking people live by an average of 7 years longer than those who are not. So why not feel love, there's nothing much to lose, but, only a humongous amount of gain.

Doubt

Confusion. Suspicion. We can never be sure of something unless u get full proof that there is such thing or being. One of my friends once said, "Suspicion doesn't kill a relationship, but secrets and lies do."